I Think I've Changed

I'm only hours older than I was yesterday, yet something inside tells me I've changed. I don't feel the way I used to. It's like I got out of bed one morning and THEN I woke up. Doesn't seem to make sense huh?

I've never had this feeling before, I'm alive, I'm conscious. Understand me, it's like I'm seeing things like I've never seen before. I'm seeing the wrong in what I thought was right, I'm seeing times when I should have stood up but instead I hid. I'm feeling like I robbed myself of the opportunity of being a better person. So I offer my apologies.


If I seem different, I may have changed
If I don't smile like I used to, I may have changed
If I come across as a bit intolerant, I may have changed
If I'm not the person you remember me to be, I may have changed
When I don't find humor in the crude, I may have changed

If I decide to stay in tonight and work on me, I may have changed
If I prefer solitude, I may have changed
If the one that you hate is the one that I've chosen, I may have changed
If I say that we need to take a break, I may have changed
When I say I think that we're unbalanced, I may have changed

When you think you just "don't get me", I know I've changed!

I don't know what changes need to take place in your life but today, take stock and see if maybe today is the day you need to change.

Long for your dreams, Live them out, Laugh at your heartaches and Love every minute of this life (Book of Ali)

Star Power

It's the day after the BET Awards and I guess I should talk about it... let's be honest!

• Pre Show was a snooze fest. It's unfortunate that the highlight of that was watching Trey Songz mama...that woman has a 25 year old son.
• I love Queen Latifah but the writers of those jokes need to be fired.
• Was it just me or did everyone seem slightly off their game?
• Lorenz Tate is a very underrated actor.
• I am now convinced that Kanye thinks he's God!
• Where the heck did BET find Eldra Debarge (I wanted to break out singing "Who's Johnny?")
  
• Trey Songz seemed genuinely overwhelmed by his very presence at the awards. His "cockiness" as people seem to always refer to it as... is him being an entertainer. Would you believe him if he wasn't cocky with his "ACT"? It works!
  
• Eminem we've missed you!

I'm doing a separate entry for Prince, he deserves that, so on to Chris Brown.

I think it's time to leave him alone.

I would never condone anytype of domestic violence. They were dating so that's what the police would call it. I think people need to give Chris a break. I honestly think he's sorry. I think that situation got blown out of proportion. As a woman, I've repeatedly taken my male companions to the edge of that "Woman I'll knock the hell outta you" line. If you have a man that's not usually violent you know the signs and you know when to stop. I'm not saying this is what happened and once again I DON'T CONDONE VIOLENCE!

But everyone needs to let it go now...he's sorry. Destroying his life is not the answer. What he needed then and needs now is a shoulder.

Let's get this straight..first off Chris is a brilliant entertainer. So was MJ.
Chris Brown can dance his light brown tail off. So could MJ.
Chris Brown made a mistake that people no matter how good he is or will ever be some people will always use it to define him. So did Michael.

Chris Brown's Michael Jackson tribute left me speechless. I have a renewed respect for Brown...why? A lesser person would've folded and allowed the pressure to destroy them from the inside. I don't think his detractors bothered him as much as the industry did. He couldn't have been worried about his fans because they would understand (fans are like that)! But his industry made him into a monster.

Now that he has tearfully broken down in front of the world. Hopefully there is enough forgiveness around the industry to just let him be.

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Now playing: Prince - Purple Rain

Let's Talk Love

I decided to end this week with a love song...(well not really song literally) But I wanted to talk about love. I had a wonderful night out recently and I was slightly deflated by what could have been a big mistake, I knew it then and definitely know it now.
But It got me thinking about what "Being in Love" was/is like. I was told recently "I still love you, you know." I smirked because in my head I thought "I used to love you."


He says he still loves me. All I can say is I used to love him.

I remember that one, for whom my heart skipped.
The one that made me smile day after day, after day. I used to love him.
Every morning I longed to hear his voice, I wanted to see his face.
I felt lost in everything that was him.
He stole my heart.

I thought that all that he was was all that I needed.
He was the truth in my life. He was my addiction. I used to need him.
He was my life while kept drowning in him, and I held him tight.
I was overwhelmed by him being near.
He was in my mind.

After I'd given my everything and I felt nothing.
He was still in my bones like marrow that strengthens. How I longed for him.
Like the ocean kissing the shore, I felt him all around.
I'm entranced by the power that he possesses.
I think about him.

I am his queen, he claims to worship my grace
He finds my beauty to be his prisoner and he's trapped. He needs me.
He thinks about what I'm thinking, he wants me to be near.
I'm every woman to him and he can't help himself.
He says he loves me.

Mmmmmmmmm
I remember I used to love him!

What IS It All For?

It's easy for us to sit idle as life passes us by. "We're born, we live and unfortunately we must die." I say unfortunately because it's rare that I find people would have experienced all that life has to offer before their demise. For some there are children, that fill their lives with stories of endless laughter and childhood happiness. Then there are the people that have their jobs, they've worked their whole lives and they have found that their ultimate joy comes from "a job well done". I often think about people whose whole lives are consumed by their families, everything they do is for the fulfillment, approval and happiness of their loved ones. Of course along the way, some do find love.

Yes I smirked when I read that sentence too. But some people do find love, I don't mean they get married and have find someone to spend the rest of their lives with. I mean they really find love. But what is it all for? I go back to an earlier statement, "We're born, we live and unfortunately we must die". I have to admit that I think I've grown to be quite a cynic as of late. Its as if I've seen more in this lifetime than any ten people that have lived. But in the midst of my cynicism, I have to believe that what people claim to have found is real and works.

I'm not dumping on everyone who has found their ultimate purpose, whether it's in work, in family or in love. I just wonder. Have you ever even thought about it? When you do what you do, in word or in deed, what is it all for? Today I ask you to think about it all. Try to think about everything you do today and ask yourself, what is it all for?

Blond Moment

I was thinking of going blond…while I love my natural dark brown tresses…sometimes you just want a change. In the midst of my thinking I saw two people that almost changed my mind. And thus we have our “What the…” moment today!!!

Anyone care to tell me what happened here....

To be honest I actually followed "Cruella" into that shoe store, it was to much to miss...

The Way I See It - I Have to Write It

I've been trying to avoid this blog for almost a year now. When I finally made up my mind, I somehow cracked the screen on my laptop. (Just one more reason to procrastinate) Now I'm back on track and this is #129 on my "Bucket List". You're probably wondering who I am, and why anyone would want to read what I have to say.

Well, I'm YOU! Most of what you see is what you've thought, said to close friends or even said within the confines of your social network... BUT not to people's faces so I'll say it for you. I'm observational. Everyone won't always agree but you'll be informed or amused. So that what will we talk about......EVERYTHING!

We'll explore love, sex, men, women, kids, shoes, entertainment, religion, the weather. I did say everything! So here we go... ENJOY THE RIDE!